Tardigradous

tardigradous, a. : “Slow-paced; moving or stepping slowly” (Webster) (pronounced tar’-dih-gred-us, with the accent on the first syllable, and equal emphasis on the remaining syllables).

Turtles are notorious for their tardigradous way of getting around. Snails, inchworms, grandparents, and cantankerous children (like Jimmy below) like to operate at this speed as well.

“Jimmy, go clean your room. And hurry up…” Jimmy’s mother crossed her arms as she watched her reluctant son make his tardigradous trek up the stairs, dragging his pantofled feet the entire way.

Slowly and resolutely the ant inched across the carpet, dragging the stale popcorn kernel behind him. He sincerely hoped he would reach safety before Jimmy’s clomping feet entered the room. Due to his load, however, his speed was tardigradous. And he was helpless to alter it.