There is a great debate in the grammarian community. It may not be as heated as the infamous Oxford comma debate or as touchy as the possessive apostrophe debate…
But it is a problem. And today we will address it. The question, ladies and gents, is this: Is they acceptable?
“They” is the subject of the debate, and here’s why.
Back in the day, if you wanted to refer to a singular person but didn’t specify if “it” was a he or a she, then you would use the default masculine pronoun, he.
For example: If you have a sore throat, talk to your doctor. He may be able to recommend an over-the-counter remedy.
However, some don’t care for all these “he”s, especially in situations like this one. To them, it looks like women aren’t being represented as well as men. In fact, there are quite a few people who don’t like to stick with “he” every time they go to write a sentence with a generic subject.
Several solutions have been presented. One is to use “him or her” or “him/her”. The problem with this is things get bulky very quickly: When serving a guest, be sure to address him or her properly. Ask him or her if you can take his or her coat. Be attentive to his or her needs throughout his or her stay.
Definitely not going to work every time. So a second solution is to alternate between him and her with each example. But that just gets confusing. And annoying, as your brain keeps flopping between the mysterious masculine character and the undefined feminine personage.
And so here is another solution—one that pinches some grammarian nerves. This fix involves using a plural pronoun for a singular subject. (*gasp!*)
For example: When giving a student their welcome packet, be sure to maintain eye contact. Make them feel comfortable and at ease as they see the campus for the first time.
Each of these three solutions is acceptable in various circles, even the use of “they” as a singular pronoun.
But what is correct? And for a grammar enthusiast (to put it kindly), what is truly acceptable?
Technically, it would be using “he”. It keeps the structure properly parallel and is the way it has been traditionally done—the way it was decided way back when.
Here is my opinion, take it or leave it:
I favor the traditional, original rule of making all generic, singular, undefined pronouns masculine. It avoids confusion, remains consistent, and is 100% grammatically correct in regards to parallel structure. A perfectionist’s dream solution.
And as a bonus, here’s why I don’t think it’s unfair to women, or leaves them under-represented: every time a city, ship, or country was referred to back in the day, it was always a “she”. So I think it’s a pretty fair tradeoff; men get to be the mystery example—people you never really see—and women get to be ships, cities, countries, storms, hurricanes, winds—lots of big, powerful (and violent!) things.
But would I ever use “they” as a singular pronoun?
Only if I have to. If I am writing for a client who prefers using “they”, then I will. But in my own writing, I’m an old-fashioned, perfectionist type of girl, and don’t mind the “he” rule at all. It follows proper structure and the fact that it’s a man and not a woman doesn’t bother me a bit.
What do you think? Are you a grammar enthusiast or more of a go-with-what-works person? Do you have a bunch of mysterious men lined up in your writing, or undefined women, or both? Or neither? Leave a comment with your opinion!
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