What to Write When You Have No Words

No words?

Write hard and clear about what hurts.” ~ Ernest Hemingway

I was going to get married last year. But I didn’t.

Less than two months before the date, I had to call off the wedding.

In a very real sense, it has been like grieving a death. Not only the death of a dear friend, but also of all the dreams, memories, family, future, and friends I made along the way. It is a devastating task trying to rebuild this broken life; sometimes I know where to put the pieces and other times I don’t even recognize them. Sometimes I have words to describe the pain and other times I am empty, a writer with no words.

The last two times I tried to write to you, I melted into a puddle of tears. I’m melting into one now. (Which makes it hard to type, by the way…)

But I decided instead of skipping because I can’t bring myself to write about writing, I would tell you why I’m crying and how it relates to writing.

So, what do you write when you have nothing to say?

1. State the Truth

Start with the simple truth. Many of what end up to be the most gritty, raw, and satisfying journal entries begin with the words, “I have nothing to say.” That’s it.

Once you get that down, tears flow, emotions flow, it all flows. Just start with the kernel of truth behind whatever you’re feeling. It could be, “I feel sad.” “I feel lonely.” “I’m scared.” “I’m angry.” “I’m numb.” “I don’t know what I feel.” Anything, just get it down and the avalanche will start.

2. Ask Questions

When we don’t have anything to say, it’s often because we’re stumped. We’re stunned by the weight of what we carry.

Start asking questions. Direct them to God, direct them to a friend, direct them to yourself, just ask.

Why is this happening to me? How did this all begin? Where do I go from here? What do I do?

We may not figure the answers out right away. But just writing out what’s stumping us will help clear our heads a bit.

3. Write Outward

Eventually, we can work toward recognizing the bigger picture. We must think outside ourselves, beyond, “Why is this happening to me?” to “How might this benefit others or make a positive impact?”

We may be able to think of exactly zero benefits to anyone anywhere as a result of our suffering. That’s okay. Grief takes time. We may even reach a place where we can see benefits, think positive, and even feel happy, and then slip and fall into the pain and darkness all over again. It’s a process. Take it slow.

It may be a very long time before we can pinpoint any benefits. But as Christians, there are some we can recognize right away.

We just have to remember that we walk by faith and not by sight. God sees what we cannot see: “The secret things belong to the LORD our God, but the things revealed belong to us and to our sons forever…” (Deuteronomy 29:29) And since we know that He works all things for good (Romans 8:28), we can take comfort in knowing that even if we can’t figure out what He is doing, there is good in it. So if you must, just write that.

God is good. He works all things for good. His steadfast love endures forever. (Psalm 136)

When we write outward, the clouds will lift. They won’t disappear, perhaps for a long time, but they won’t always push us down so hard.

The Process in Action

Combining all three prompts, here is an example of writing when you have no words:

I feel sad. (start with a simple truth)

Why do I have to go through this pain? (ask a question)

I may never fully understand why I have to suffer, but God sees behind the scenes of my life, and I know that He is good and that He works all things for good. By His strength, I will trust Him with this moment and the next. I will surrender each one into His care as I enter it and will walk this life one step at a time. Sometimes the path will be shrouded by tears and pain, but because He is walking with me and sees all things, He will guide me so I will not fall. (answer the question by writing outward, by calling on the truth of God’s Word)

This can look like anything; you might start with ten truths or none, twenty questions or only one, pages of outward truth or just one tiny phrase. It doesn’t matter what it looks like; just get it out.

Keep writing, friend. We’ll make it through this life with a beautiful story to tell, crafted by the greatest Author of all time and guaranteed to have a happy ending, if we are in Christ.

This post is dedicated to all who have lost someone they love. You are not alone. And we are promised everything will be okay in the end. I pray you are helped and given hope. 💗

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