We all know those people—the ones we’re afraid to slip up around, either in writing or in speech: the grammar police.
I don’t judge people based on race, creed, colour or gender. I judge people based on spelling, grammar, punctuation and sentence structure.” ~ Unknown
Do not fear. Today I share three tips for sliding by these officers of grammatical perfection unscathed and unjudged. This post’s focus is specifically on the slip-ups that affect our spoken grammar. In the next post, we’ll discuss those that plague our written grammar.
1. Remember You’re Not Good
“Hey! How are you?”
The beginning of every American conversation ever. Well, almost. It’s a polite thing, and a question we have to answer at least several times a day if we’re out and about. If you want to avoid the silent (or maybe not so silent) judgement of the grammar police, DO NOT SAY, “I’m good.” This is grammatically incorrect, and the eyes of a grammarian will bore into your soul the instant he hears the cacophonic “g” sound instead of the euphonic “w” sound that begins the word “well,” which is the one you should choose when answering this question.
“I am well” is the grammatically correct answer to the “How are you” question, and will set you off to an advantageous start.
2. It’s Not You, It’s Me (or is it I?)
Me and him, her and I, I and they—what do we say? Two simple tricks:
(1) Be selfless: always list the other person first. “She and I went to the store,” not “Me and her went to the store.”
(2) Remove the other person to figure out if it’s “me” or “I.” For example, “She and [I/me] went to the store.” Which one do we use?
Take the other person out and try both options: “I went to the store” vs. “Me went to the store.” In this example, “I” is the correct choice.
Extra tip — How to know whether it’s “her” or “she”: take yourself out and test both. In our above example: “She went to the store” vs. “Her went to the store.” The correct answer, then, is she. Thus, “She and I went to the store.”
3. Warning from the Grammar Police: The Passive Voice Can Be Spoken
The passive voice is not merely a written bane. You can speak it, and people do all the time. To avoid it, just remember to speak actively. Here’s a quick reminder from our article on avoiding the passive voice:
Do the thing; don’t let the thing be done by another thing. Not only is the passive voice a waste of words, but it’s also not powerful. It’s weak. It takes you longer to get to the point and it puts the attention on the recipient of the action (the passive participant) instead of the doer (the active participant).”
Remember these three rules and you’ll be prepared to converse with the grammar police without being arrested. And if you want to be extra cautious, check out Part 2 of our discussion—avoiding the grammar police in written grammar (gotta stay away from those flashing red pens!).
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