Help! I’m Single!

 

“Single” can be a scary word. For some, it can bring to mind other words like “lonely”, “unworthy”, “unwanted”, and “crazy cat person”. I know; I’ve been there (except for the cat part…not too crazy about them).

But being single doesn’t have to be scary. It doesn’t have to be lonely. And being single certainly does not mean you are unworthy or unwanted! Let me repeat: being single certainly does not mean you are unworthy or unwanted!

One day (I was feeling kind of down about it) I decided to make a list. It wasn’t a grocery list, or even a list of resolutions.

It was a thankfulness list. It was an awesome things list. It was a list of all the reasons it’s great to be single.

I’m going to share it with you because it helped me. You may not relate to all of the reasons, but even if you only like one, that’s fine. It just might help broaden your perspective so you can see that being single can actually be kind of cool.

42 Reasons It’s Great to be Single

Spiritual

1. Less distractions
2. More time for God (more time for everything!)
3. Chance to focus on spiritual growth
4. Room to get tough on sin issues (like contentment *cough cough*)
5. Ability to work on giving myself as a gift to God every day
6. Time to turn to God as my best friend (because He is!)
7. Time to turn to God when I’m lonely
8. Time to work on thankfulness
9. Time to practice saying, “Not my will, but Yours”
10. Opportunity to take pride in where God has me right now and be confident in who He’s made me

Relational

1. Less distractions
2. More time/investment in my family
3. Time for sibling and parent dates (take them out. It will make their day. 🙂 )
4. Time to hang out with my friends
5. Chance to be a blessing to older people (many of them are lonely and hurting too)
6. Chance to encourage my peers (they might be struggling with this sort of thing…)
7. Chance to set an example and be there for younger kids (be that awesome grownup who actually listens to kids and makes them feel special)
8. Chance to use my story/struggles to inspire others (without struggles and conflict, there’s no story!)

Personal

1. Less distractions (have you picked up on the less distractions motif yet? 😉 )
2. Time to practice forming good habits now (like diligence, getting up early, etc. Set some personal goals!)
3. Time to figure out exactly what I want in a spouse (really, have at it! Make a list. Be picky.)
4. Time to read (everything! Read all the books!)
5. Time to write/publish/work on my career
6. Time to start a business (if you’re the entrepreneurial type…)
7. Time to learn important stuff like cooking, ironing, and laundry (so you don’t end up with loaves of bread you could build a house with *cough cough*)
8. Time to save money
9. Time to travel the world and have adventures (with all that money you’re saving…)
10. Time to get in shape (lose it now, don’t have to lose it during wedding planning…just saying…or go run that 10k you’ve always wanted to run!)
11. Time for hobbies (weird ones, any ones, no one cares!)
12. Opportunity to experience being independent (this is the one time in your life! Make the most of it!)
13. Chance to make my own plans (day plans, week plans, month plans, life plans)
14. Do what I want on evenings and weekends
15. Have a bed all to myself (really, it’s pretty awesome. You can steal the blankets every night and no one will complain)
16. Choose whatever pets I want (bring on the cats! If you’re that sort of person…)
17. Get plenty of wedding ideas and save them up (what to do and what NOT to do)
18. Get plenty of ideas on raising kids (again, what to do and what NOT to do–let everyone else make the mistakes!)
19. Figure out how I want to organize–my house, my finances, my life
20. Manage my own finances
21. Learn patience (you have time for that)
22. Learn to be assertive, confident, and opinionated (I’m working on this; I’m a people pleaser.)
23. Learn to be me (again, be proud of who God made you; don’t try to bend to what others want or expect. I’ve made that mistake a lot.)
24. Chance to figure out who I am (not in a cheesy, cliche way. Really. Sometimes it takes a long time. And if you end up with someone else too soon, you’ll miss out on growing personally into the unique character you were designed to be. I thought I was done growing at 18…and I was wrong!)

Well, there are my 42 reasons. And don’t get me wrong–being single is still hard sometimes. And lonely and sad and painful. And this list didn’t make my desire for marriage go away. But it did help me realize that being single is not all bad, and that a lot of it is actually awesome!

I had a conversation with a good friend awhile ago. She complained that a lot of people view marriage (or having a boyfriend) as a grand thing, the big finale, and the best thing that will ever happen to you. It’s definitely awesome, but it’s not the culmination of everything. Just because you’re single, it doesn’t mean you’re less special, or you have to wait around for great things to happen.

Go do great things now! Don’t wait. Save up and visit another country if that’s what you want to do. Publish a book if that’s your dream. Find a job and move to the other side of the world if that’s your desire.

Don’t wait, and don’t think there’s something wrong with you if you haven’t found your other half. Apparently, you don’t need him or her yet. Maybe you never will.

And maybe your other half isn’t ready for your awesomeness. He or she might need to grow first.

So go do awesome things.

And then definitely tell us about them in the comments below. Or add more items to the list if you have them!