Imagine if that’s the call NASA received: “Houston, a problem is had by us!” A little too wordy and not quite as impactful as, “Houston, we have a problem!” This is just one example of why avoiding the passive voice is so vital.
A bigger boat is going to be needed by you.” ~ Chief Brody, Jaws
The above quote and the one in our headline are both excellent examples of why we do not use the passive vice—I mean, voice—and superfluous words in general! And in case that is not enough, read on.
The subjects of the passive voice and of unnecessary verbiage have probably been encountered by you in the reading you have performed and in the writing you have done. They are common mistakes of authors.
That was a painful but helpful example. Let’s start over before we get any further:
You have probably encountered unnecessary verbiage, including the passive voice, while reading and writing. It is a common mistake.
Today we will tackle these beasts and rout them from our writing and speech, saving time and words. [Note that they will not be tackled by us or that time will be saved by doing this, but that we will tackle them and it will save time.]
1. The Passive Voice Should Be Removed
Do the thing; don’t let the thing be done by another thing.
Not only is the passive voice a waste of words, but it’s also not powerful. It’s weak. It takes you longer to get to the point and it puts the attention on the recipient of the action (the passive participant) instead of the doer (the active participant). This happens not only in fiction writing where a story is involved, but also in academic/nonfiction writing.
Here is an example of each:
“The dog was taken for a walk by Susan.”
“While bananas are a good source of potassium, their peels should be removed by you before consumption.”
Passive = wordy & weak. Watch what happens when we switch the action to focus on the doer and not the recipient:
“Susan took the dog for a walk.”
“While bananas are a good source of potassium, you should remove their peels before consumption.”
Don’t say the passive voice should be avoided. Avoid the passive voice.
*Note that there are instances where the passive voice is acceptable (and even necessary). You can read more on this subject here.
2. The Words of Your Speech Should Be Simplified of Clutter
People are too wordy. The passive voice is just one way to do it.
Have you ever heard something like this: “In my experience with dogs, I have found that they are dumb. They reveal that they are dumb by the dumb things that they do. They do these things often, things like running in circles after their tails, things like barking at nothing, things like being generally obnoxious to people, and other things like this. So my experience with dogs is that they are dumb, as we can see by observing the dumb things that they do, such as the things that I have mentioned.”
Compare with this shortened version: “Dogs are dumb. This can be seen in their behavior, such as when they chase their tails, bark at nothing, and act obnoxious.”
This gets the same point across in about 1/4 of the words. Self-editing to remove unnecessary content is hard. It can be difficult to tell how many words we really need to communicate our ideas, especially when we’ve been staring at the piece for so long our eyes are burning. It’s easy to forget what the reader does or doesn’t know.
One way to combat this is to step away from it for a while. Depending on the length and your time requirements, several days is a good amount. But if that’s just not going to work (in other words, you majorly procrastinated), even a few hours will help. Just get your mind thinking, working, solving, or doing something else entirely. When you come back to it and view it with fresh eyes, it’s easier to spot redundancy.
Instead of the words of your speech being simplified of clutter, just simplify your writing. And avoid the passive voice.
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