Today’s inspiration comes from Sarah Zentner. She writes an encouraging piece on sharing our struggles instead of keeping them bottled inside–a great reminder in today’s rushed, distracted, Christmas newsletter-style world. Take it away, Sarah!
The two most powerful words when we’re in struggle: me too.”
— Brené Brown
“How’s your night going?” I asked as the hostess reached behind her for some menus. It was pretty early — the sun was still shining outside and my inner old lady was happy that she’d probably be home before it had set (thanks, summertime).
But as she hid her instinctive grimace behind a shrug and a feeble smile, probably the result of knowing she’d be at this for a while, I knew that going home wasn’t an opportunity this employee would be afforded for at least a few hours, and probably not until she’d dealt with some rather hangry customers who’d be told they’d have to wait a while for a table. “Not bad so far…but we’re heading into our rush.”
“Yep, I get that,” I said, following her into the bar. “I work in a café, and sometimes the crowds just pour in. It gets crazy!”
This time, a real smile spread across her face as she cried with an enthusiasm almost unbefitting of the conversation we were having, “Yeah, and you’re like, where did this come from?”
“I know!”
It was the briefest — and seemingly most insignificant — of interactions, but in that moment when her countenance changed, I saw something in this girl that looked a lot like…relief. It was the relief of realizing she wasn’t alone, the relief of hearing, even in a small way, “Me too. I get it.”
Hardships come in a variety of formats, sometimes mundane and sometimes crippling, but never pleasant, and always relatively difficult for the person facing them to surmount. To know we’re not the only one to have experienced a particular difficulty — whatever it is — is tremendously empowering.
It’s an indisputable fact of life that everyone faces hard things from time to time. But it also seems that we live in a world that prides strength, success, and “having it all together;” a world that often values looking strong and confident and invulnerable — automatically saying, “I’m good,” or “I’m fine” when maybe we’re really falling apart inside; creating a flurry of carefully edited photos and status updates to hide unpleasant realities; keeping hundreds of online “friends” updated on a job promotion, a wedding, a new baby, an international move, or any number of other accomplishments, but rarely, if ever, using social media as a space for us to really connect with each other in our toughest times, when such connection is arguably most necessary.
We’re often afraid to share our struggles because they’re not pretty. They’re not things we can cover up with a good concealer or the right filter. They are a part of us. They are stories we live with, inscribed on our souls, difficult to erase.
And we don’t need to erase them.
Because if we know someone else is facing a similar difficulty, or has come out on top in the fight against their difficulties, our problems feel smaller; they’re no longer the only ones of their kind. And something amazing happens when enough people say, “Me too.” The mass of those fighting a hardship suddenly becomes bigger than the problem itself, dwarfing it. There’s strength in the numbers that are produced from the sharing of our scars, from our vulnerability. And if we can’t fully erase some things, at least saying “me too” can build an army capable of reducing them to inconsequential size, of making them cower in the shadow of the strength of our crowd. That’s the power of knowing we’re not alone.
That’s the power of saying, “Me too.”
Reach out to someone today, in some way, big or small. Tell them they’re not alone. Say, “Me too.”
I hope this encouraged you as it encouraged me. Do you have a story of how someone has come alongside you in a struggle? Or have you ever had to be seriously open and vulnerable with someone else? We’d love to hear from you! So leave a comment or send us a private email sharing your story. And thank you Sarah for passing along this inspiration to us!
Sarah is a twenty-something seeking God, light, inspiration, and joy in the hurdles of post-graduate life. When she’s not blogging or freelancing, she can be found indulging in a good book, rich chocolate, or a hearty laugh.
If you want to read more by Sarah, check out her blog Sarahndipity Z!
And be sure to check out her LinkedIn profile, and connect with her on Facebook, Instagram, and Pinterest!
Very true. I found that close-knit forums and secret Facebook groups are where people strip off their “everything’s awesome” mask and share the hard stuff. It’s not in a depressing way either. I’m happy to have such support groups. It’s where we laugh at the hard stuff together and that makes things so much more better!
I agree, Anne. It is so helpful to have support groups and others you can confide in and be honest about your struggles with. Sometimes it’s hard to be vulnerable, but in the end you feel so much better because you can relate to others and lean on them when things are tough. Thanks for the input!